Atime2write - Fiona Tarr

Living A Creative Life

I Want it All…..

I want a life partner, kids, career and a life of significance, where I can make a difference outside my own little cocoon of a world. I hear you asking… Is that really possible? Well yes, it is, so far anyway.

I know many women who struggle to find the balance and at times I am right there with them but it is worth the struggle; nothing in this life worth having comes easily. So this article is just a few of my hints which might help you achieve it all…..

Put Others First – To a Point

If you want a healthy relationship with your partner and happy, healthy, well adjusted kids then you are going to have to put them first, a lot of the time, but only to a point and only for a time. Balancing relationships is probably the hardest part about having an independent career, making a difference in your community and maintaining healthy relationships. These 3 little tips might help:

  1. Take time out to focus on your partner – stay tuned to their emotional needs but don’t get railroaded by them.
  2. As soon as you can, help your kids learn independence – it is a life long skill they will appreciate and it  will free you up to pursue your personal goals.
  3. Do work you love, not work you have to do, or change your attitude – your sanity and your relationships depend on it.

Manager Your Time

There are only so many hours in a day, months in a year and years in your lifetime so make the most of every second. Not having the time is not an excuse for anything, even though I have used it myself, we all know it just isn’t true. So consider these tips to help manage your time:

  1. Decide what domestic duties only you can do and delegate the rest or lash out and pay someone to help out if you can afford to, even if its only occasionally.
  2. Prioritise your work, play and personal aspirations. We all have commitments which have to take precedence at times, but don’t allow any of them to be an excuse to stop you from reaching your potential. Do the work that must be done today, go play when you get the opportunity and make the most of every open door which allows you to pursue your passion.
  3. Be patient – this one gets me all the time, but in hindsight I can assure you all that the opportunities do come, the doors do open for those who wait. This is not an excuse, don’t use the old ‘it’s not the right time’ moto when it clearly is the right time to give it a go. There are no guarantees in life.

It Is Not All About You

I have heard it all before from many sectors of the community, and mostly from women, that wanting it all is selfish and if you make it all about you, it quite likely can end in tears. I know people who became so focussed on careers, their personal goals or even their play time that they never found a partner or no longer have a partner and still blame their partner for not understanding. Now everyone’s situation is different and they may well have had partners who were not supportive but in some cases they were focussed on themselves and their own needs, not on the needs of their partner or even the greater good of their aspirations. So just remember as you juggle everything, that if you make it all about you, you may lose it all…..

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